My First Ostara
Wherein I say "Hello!" to the Spring Equinox and "Goodbye!" to Easter
This past week I celebrated Ostara and the Spring Equinox for the first time. It also marked the first time I marked any part of this annual season as anything other than Easter. It is a very transformative time as I start integrating my Christian past with my Pagan present. These two ecosystems of faith will forever overlap in my spirit.
Providing accurate historical background for either Ostara or Easter is far beyond the scope of this post. I did some homework, and there’s quite a lot of controversy surrounding both.
Years of evangelism and apologetics training have familiarized me with dozens of arguments regarding the historicity of Jesus of Nazareth's death, burial, and resurrection. There’s absolutely no shortage of resources in the evangelical Christian world claiming to prove beyond a shadow of any doubt that Jesus came back from the grave. And there’s no shortage of resources in the non-Christian world claiming to prove the opposite.
As it turns out, there’s also significant controversy surrounding the origins of Ostara. This information was new to me, but it absolutely passes my personal bullshit detector. It’s enough to say here that Ostara is a name for the Spring Equinox invented by a Neopagan for Neopagans and that it absolutely was not ripped off by Christians to create Easter. Pagans never possessed exclusive ownership of bunnies or their colorful eggs. Easter is not the result of cultural appropriation of ancient pagan tradition.
That said, there are numerous overlaps between how various cultures have marked and celebrated the Spring Equinox for thousands of years.
If you’d like to know more about this topic, I’d invite you to check out this nicely researched article by Dan McBride.
My Ritual Vision
I decided to design a ritual that would allow me to do a few things:
Explicitly recognize the presence of not one but two deities in my life: The Morrigan and Jesus Christ. The Great Queen and the Savior King. An unlikely pairing? Perhaps. It all depends on how you personally experience these two deities.
Explicitly release the harmful doctrines, beliefs, and behaviors that characterized my experience of Evangelical Christianity. While I haven't held these beliefs for quite some time, I have never released them in an embodied, ritualistic way. And, as I've discovered, embodied ritual is key to my experience of the Divine.
Explicitly acknowledge the beautiful aspects of Christianity and Jesus Christ that I will forever retain while also acknowledging the beautiful aspects of Neopaganism and Witchcraft that I'm drawn to add to my practice.
Explicitly verbalize my intent not to choose between these spiritual traditions but to transcend and integrate them into my own.
So What Did That Look Like?
In Pagan ceremonial rituals, we often begin by casting a protective circle. As I walked beginning in the East around my ritual space, I acknowledged my chosen representatives of the four principal elements:
An essential oil diffuser to represent Air.
A red chime candle to represent Fire.
A dish of Full Moon water to represent Water.
A dish of potting soil to represent Earth.
While walking, I used my ritual wand to draw a circle of energetic white light, visualized in my mind’s eye, saying:
The elements of Air, Fire, Water, and Earth come together. I cast this circle of protection and power above, below, and within.
Circle casting is often followed by the practice of “Calling the Quarters.” This can be as simple as ceremonially asking each element to aid in the ritual. In some traditions, the call is to the Archangels who act as guardians of the elements and their associated cardinal directions. My calls to them were drawn from Adelina St. Clair’s beautiful book, The Path of the Christian Witch:
Archangel Raphael, guardian of the realms of earth, of strength, and healing, bless us with your presence on this most sacred occasion. Hail and welcome!
Archangel Gabriel, guardian of the realms of air, of inspiration, and wisdom, bless us with your presence on this most sacred occasion. Hail and welcome!
Archangel Michael, guardian of the realms of fire, of courage, and passion, bless us with your presence on this most sacred occasion. Hail and welcome!
Archangel Uriel, guardian of the realms of water, of love, and compassion, bless us with your presence on this most sacred occasion. Hail and welcome!
Invoking the Morrigan and Jesus Christ
After calling the quarters, it is customary to "invoke" any deities with whom you intend to work during the ritual.
Invocation of a deity is quite common when you engage beyond the Christian pantheon, and it is easy to find a host of ritual invocations for deities (some better than others, obviously).
To invoke the Morrigan, I chose an invocation drawn from Stephanie Woodfield’s book, Celtic Lore and Spellcraft of the Dark Goddess: Invoking the Morrigan. It begins and ends with the following refrain:
Anu, Macha, Badb The three in one Anu, Macha, Badb I call thee Morrigan, come!
While the Christian tradition calls upon the name of Jesus regularly in prayer, I did not expect I would find an invocation in this style, so rather than searching for one, I composed my own, inspired by the Jesus Prayer and the Book of Revelation (reference):
Jesus Christ, Kyrie Eleison! You who are the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. The Root and Offspring of David, the Morning Star shining bright. I call thee Jesus Christ, come!
After invoking the Morrigan and Jesus Christ, I lit my Ostara candle, saying aloud:
Ostara, symbol of the Spring Equinox, guardian of the astrological new year, we welcome you and the new beginnings that you bring.
I then began the heart of the ritual with a time of grounding meditation.
Releasing the Harms of Evangelical Christianity
To release those harmful and abusive aspects of Christianity that have been weaponized against me and the world at large, I spent time writing them out on strips of parchment paper, which I then burned with the fire of my Ostara candle in my Witch's Cauldron, sending them away into the Universe to recycle that negative energy.
As I watched these strips of parchment paper burn and curl into ash, I announced aloud:
I release these harmful doctrines, behaviors, and beliefs.
They no longer have any value to me.
They no longer hold any power over me.
They are as detritus scattered to the four winds.
Begone!
Recognizing and Integrating the Beauty of My Traditions
To design this portion of the ritual, I drew from texts that have touched me deeply over the past several months. In some cases, I borrowed from these texts verbatim, and in others, I modified the text to include more gender-expansive language and weave in Hermetic Philosophy. Before reciting these passages, I made the following declaration:
I now initiate myself into a spiritual practice that is of my own inspiration and my own design.
It comes to me through my deities, my spirit guides, my teachers, and my intuition.
It is not a static practice—these words I say today do not define me now or ever—they are but the beginning of a dynamic, evolving practice that will change as often as I do.
To acknowledge the beauty of Christianity, I recited my adaptation of Adelina St. Clair's "New Apostle's Creed," also drawn from The Path of the Christian Witch:
I believe in the ALL, who created all there is. I believe that they sent Jesus to teach us about him and so he may learn about us. In order to do this, Jesus was born of a woman, a mission she chose freely and with full knowledge. Jesus, God as human, embraced his humanity completely. Jesus taught us to love above all and to live with an open heart. He died on a cross and was resurrected from the dead, symbol of hope and that life stands above all, even death. His reign will come again so that we may be reunited with our Source. They sent their Holy Spirit to walk with us and guide us always. In the Christ light, we are all siblings. We gather around the teachings of the mystics and saints, those who knew Jesus and understood his teachings, so that they may be kept alive in faith. And in this light, death shall never prevail.
To acknowledge the beauty of Witchcraft, I recited the first writing of my personal code. I did not feel that I had the time to significantly improve upon “Code of My Craft,” drawn from Barbara Meiklejohn-Free’s book, Scottish Witchcraft: A Complete Guide to Authentic Folklore, Spells, and Magickal Tools, so I chose to include the text verbatim:
Follow nature’s laws, ‘tis always best; honour them and discard the rest. Listen to the whispers of the moon, speaking of what has passed by too soon. Be open to the powers of the sun, as you dance in wonder of what is to come. The four winds that blow from each direction, offer guidance, news, and protection. Ensure your spells are said in rhyme, for this will bind them every time. Cauldron awaits the wood below, choose well to help the magick flow. Birch, hazel, and more to come, serve a purpose, learn what must be done. The festive times be sure to mark, when seasons turn from light to dark. Samhain, Yule, and many more are all there for you to attend and explore. Take up your place, never that of others, consider the needs of your sister and brothers. Let your words be few, but always wise, listen well and use your eyes. Honour those who have gone before, allow their presence to be with you once more. Greeting in joy and departing the same, harbours good feelings till you meet again. Three times over, prepare your space, to keep out unwelcome foe and face. Spending too long with those who deceive in a rush, taints you with the very same brush. Be not the first to break a trust, but if trust is broken, call it out you must. All good things come in three, so too does misfortune, aware you must be. Now with these few words the Code is done, ”Do as you will, with harm to none.”
Finally, I'd like to share with you my prayer of integration, once again an adaptation of a prayer written by Adelina St. Clair for the same purpose:
Here I am, faithful to my calling, for my path has told me that I truly am the child of the birthing waters and keeper of the stone slate. The path of the seeker has led me to your wonders, without and within, and I offer my thanks today. I have seen the face of my God and Goddess and am rededicated to their course. The Morrigan and Jesus Christ have lifted the questioning from my brow through their love, as it was in the beginning and now shall be.
The path of the seeker has led me to covens of people who love and accept and judge not. A place where my beliefs are respected and where counsel and support abound. The path has led me to my siblings, whose love and power feed in me the recognition of my own name. The path has opened my thirst for the earth and its glories, opening a physical need for the freshness and rejuvenation through the elements. And within the glories abound, most of all in the recognition that I am Hope. Hope and knowledge of evil are the weapons given to me to love and cure.
For the strength to be strong through the power of unwavering faith, For the belief in beauty, For the power and need and pain to create and bring things forth into the world, For the eyes of the Witch who sees in all things the lessons of life, For the recognition of barriers that still stand and the respect for their presence, For the acknowledgement of the Dark Moon within and the expression of its presence, For the knowledge that balance is within me and around me as an active process that I influence every day, For the balance within now that I have found you, Great Queen and Lord, and the conviction in myself to walk my own path, For all these things, I thank you.
Meditation and Divination
As I closed my ritual, I spent time meditating on the concept of balance. Day and night are of equal length during the Spring Equinox, so it’s useful to consider how the concept of balance manifests in my life. And in the natural world.
For my rituals, I typically read a spread of cards from one of my favorite Tarot decks. However, I decided to do something new for this ritual: an Oracle spread. I chose the Saints and Mystics Reading Cards deck by Andres Engracia. Why? Because it represents yet another beautiful integration of Christian and non-Christian mysticism.
The deck presents a cross spread that is composed of three mystics and three saints. Cards 1 to 3, forming the body of the cross, are drawn from the mystics and represent:
Your energy in the Earth Realm (current situations, repetitions, and physical matters).
You in the Astral and Psychic Realm and its energies at play (inspirations, creations, and intuitive messages).
You in the Conscious Mental Realm (ideas and decisions).
Cards 4 to 6, forming the left arm, crown, and right arm of the cross, respectively, are drawn from the saints and represent:
You in the Emotional Realm (relationships, passions, and connections).
You in the Spiritual Realm (cosmic connections and soul lessons).
The Angelic Realm and the messages of healing guidance directly from the chosen saint.
Using the cross spread seemed like a really creative way to bring that Christian symbol into my ritual in a subversive way: an instrument of death used instead to intuitively consult the various living aspects of myself.
These are the cards depicted above, numbered per the spread’s design:
Socrates, representing Divine Connections.
Edgar Cayce, representing Messages.
Dion Fortune, representing Ceremony.
St. Jude, representing Saving Grace.
St. Josephine Bakhita, representing Release.
St. Martin Caballero, representing Spiritual Pilgrimage.
I read the guide for each of these cards and meditated on their possible messages relative to their positions in the spread.
Completing the Ritual
At this point, my ritual work was complete. I snuffed my Ostara candle, thanked and dismissed my deities, thanked and dismissed the Archangels of the quarters, and closed the circle.
I hope that this glimpse into my Ostara ritual gives you a picture of what it can be like to transcend and integrate an Evangelical Christian past with a Neopagan Witchcraft future. Thank you for coming along for my journey, and I’ll see you on another post or podcast episode. Blessed be!
So beautiful and integrative!
Huzzah all around! What a beautiful ritual. Thank you for sharing it with us - I’m going to reread through some of these prayers and invocations. I haven’t crafted my own ritual yet, but I absolutely love how you included a time to release old belief 💗💗so good. I think “begone!” is one of the most empowering words to invoke in a ritual. Any time I say it, I tear up.